I Dream of Diaper Genie III

We have this thing called Diaper Genie II. Apparently it's the sequal? The thing is great because it's basically a garbage can that keeps you from smelling the dirty diapers. I gave the white plastic a rub hoping that the Diaper Genie would emerge and grant me three diaper related wishes. Nothing happened... Talk about false advertising! Anyway, I had prepared my wishes ahead of time, so here they are:

Wish #1: I wish diapers had a spoiler. You know something that goes up the baby's back. Many times Karis has wet her outfit and the entire changing pad by peeing while one of her parents holds her feet up in the air. An absorbent spoiler would catch much of this spillage.

Wish #2: I wish diapers had a feature that told you audibly when they needed to be changed. They should even tell you how badly they need to be changed. Some sort of scale of how full they are... "This ones a 9.5, better change it or you're doing laundry!"

Wish #3: The diaper genie II requires me to empty it every other day. Why did you have to make it so small? I wish for a diaper genie III the size of an oil drum!

There you have it. If I ever run into that Genie, I'll be prepared! Maybe I should call customer service?